As with most things in my life, change is on the horizon – yet again. I’ve written many times in the past about how much I LOVE being an FCC provider. I am extremely grateful to the Army for allowing me the opportunity to run my own business out of my home and make decent money doing it. For providing the training, resources, and materials needed to be a great child care provider – I am extremely grateful. In spite of all that, I have reached my last straw. No, the kids didn’t stress me out. My house isn’t destroyed. None of that. I’m over it all because I’m sick of Ronnie getting sick everytime a new kid comes over. Since I’m an infant-only provider, I HAVE to do extra hourly care in order to turn a decent profit. This means new kids in and out all the time – carrying viruses right along with them. Moms need a couple of hours to take a breather while their husbands are deployed, so I help them out and provide the much needed respite care. I love it. But I don’t love the late night trips to the emergency room that take 5 to 6 hours so the staff can wait for my son’s fever to go down and send us home. Chronic ear infections, extremely high fevers, what am I doing to him? At first, I tried to shrug it off and say that its a normal part of a child’s life and move on. But, now he’s about to have surgery! Even if this is normal, I don’t want this for him. Luckily, in the middle of a complete sleep-deprived melt down, the phone rang. A foreign number. A number from Afghanistan. It was my relief right at the perfect moment. All I had to do was tell Robert what was going on and he immediately told me to close it down. It saddens me to think that this part of our lives will be over. I’ve gotten to meet so many new people, experience new things, and even get pretty far along towards a degree. Luckily, I will be able to pick right back up anytime I feel the need to and continue towards my CDA, without having to redo it all.On another note: I’ve been doing quite a bit of soul searching since R&R. I’ve felt the need to rekindle my walk with God for quite some time now, but it just became stronger during my time with Robert. Not only are we not promised tomorrow, but I want to live the absolute best life I can – because of and in testimony of God. Now, I grew up in the church and went to college to study religion. But, I’ve always been more interested in the history behind the faith rather than the example of how a faithful Christian should live his or her life. I believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross to clear my debt of sin. But am I living how God wants me to live? After some thought, I came to the realization that I can’t ever remember a time where anyone explained to me how God wants a woman/wife/mother to live. Yes, we’ve all heard the 10 commandments and thou shalt do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But I’m looking for more than that. What was God’s purpose for mothers? Wives? Homemakers? Women in general? I’m still trying to define that, but through some searching, I found Proverbs 31. Some of you out there are probably thinking I’m crazy because I’ve never read this before. I wonder how many women have read this passage? It intensly inspired me and I want to know more.A Hymm to a Good Wife:Proverbs 31:10-31″A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds.Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it.Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing.She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises.She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day.She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking.She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks.Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers.She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise:”Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!”Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!”
Woah.That’s what I tend to say when life seems so extreme that I don’t even believe it myself. Just Woah.I cannot begin to explain the ginormous headache I have right now. Unfortunately, life must go on though. In the past 2 weeks we’ve crammed too much of life into one little span of time. We tracked back across the country to return home from an amazing Rest & Relaxation leave with Rob. It was so surreal to have an extra pair of hands again. And it was so difficult to realize that those hands were gone once again after only 15 days. Not too soon after we got home, we moved. Yes, moved. Just accross post to another neighborhood. Most of the houses on post are crap. Just plain crap. But the crap we’re in now is an upgrade from the lower crap we were in before. I’m very thankful to a certain person over at the housing office for finally getting me moved, after 7 months of calling, crying, and complaining. This house isn’t too bad. Its definitely very old and you can tell its been around the block a few times, but it is so much bigger than the one in Walker. We now have 3 bedrooms instead of 2, and our current living room/dining room is about the size of our entire house before. Its nice. I have my own driveway and a big back yard. There’s also this big window that looks out onto the back yard. I really liked our sliding glass door at the other house, but all you could see out of it was our shed. Not a pretty picture. Here, Ronnie can actually look out and see the grass, dogs, clouds, birds. There’s also a playground literally right out back. I haven’t taken him over there yet, but once he feels better, we’ll go swingin’. Yes, Ronnie is sick. Dog down dirty sick. First, it was an ER trip for a high fever and coughing. That turned into a diagnosis for pneumonia, 2 ear infections, an eye infection, and mouth sores. They prescribed a boat-load of meds and we were on our way. A couple days later, he spiked another high fever, so I took him to see his regular doctor (she’s great!). Turns out the ear infection wasn’t going away, so she prescribed a heavier antibiotic and put in a consult to the ENT to get tubes put in, since this is his 4th ear infection and he’s only 10 months old. I thought we were well on our way back to wellness, when he started puking about 2:00 AM on Friday. I took him back to the doctor and they said it was the stomach flu. Since he wouldn’t eat or drink anything, they put him on an IV drip for an hour. He hated it. Screamed and cried till he fell asleep in my arms. But he needed it. 4 days and another ER trip later, he’s still sick. He won’t eat. He won’t drink. Anything I do manage to get him to take, he just throws up. I know this stuff is going around, but I pray to God he gets better soon.
In addition to dealing with a very sick little boy, the little annoyances of life have seemed to take a turn against me again. Just like right after the first time Rob left, nothing seems to work for me. Let me explain. The packers came on Thursday and packed up all our stuff. All fine and dandy there. Then, Ronnie started puking Friday morning, which is the same morning that the movers came. So, as they are loading up their truck, Ronnie pukes all over me. Literally, I was soaked. And all my clothes were packed. And so were his. Not a very comfortable situation. So, I mangaed to clean it up somehow and make do. The movers, thank goodness, rushed and brought in an extra team to get done early so I could take Ronnie to the doctor. That did work out well. But then after the doctor, I got home and had to unpack everything. Not very much fun. After I got all the essentials out, I decided to hook up the washer and dryer so I could wash everything that had been puked on, which was a lot. Of course, the movers don’t do this for you. I don’t understand why they will put together your furniture, but won’t hook up appliances. Anywhoo. I hooked up the washer with out much trouble. I did have to call my dad twice, but at least it worked. Then, I went to hook up the dryer and noticed that the vent was missing. So, I put it all aside until the next morning. Saturday morning, we wake up and go back to the old house to get the vent. Its there, but its stuck. Must be why the movers didn’t get it. So, I go to the hardware store and buy a new hose. Well, long story short – it took me 3 days and 5 trips to the hardware store to get all the right pieces and get it hooked up. In addition to that drama, I can’t install the safety locks on the cabinets because there isn’t enough room for the screwdriver to do its thing. I can’t get my inspection passed without those locks, though. My kitchen is incredibly small. It took 2 days and about $100 worth of shelving installed on the doors in order to get everything to fit. My antenna doesn’t pick up a signal out here – don’t know why – I though antennas worked everywhere. So, I’m going to have to get cable. I’ve had 4 days without internet and its driving me bonkers. I bought a universal remote that won’t program anything I have. I bought a lamp for Ronnie’s room that doesn’t work. Its just all these little things that drive me crazy. When stuff like that happens though, I just have to drop it and move on to something else. It just sucks that when you move on, something else goes wrong.
Today, I’ve got the internet back and offices are open. I have literally 2 pages of to-dos, and that’s just for today. Now that we’re moved, I have to worry about turning in the other house, changing our address on everything, and getting inspected so I can open up my program again. Lots to do and so little time to do it in. Wish me luck…
Well, I started a “weight loss” journey three days ago and I seem to be right on track. I’ve been counting calories, bumping up my cardio, and taking slimquick – not because I think it will make me loose weight, but because I NEED an appetite suppressant. I can admit that my main problem is emotional eating. When I’m happy, sad, stressed, mad, everything. And with Robert being gone, stress is the one that keeps putting that ice cream bucket in my hands. Even if it is organic, its probably not the best thing to be eating all the time. Anywhoo…on to the good part! For the first two days, I felt terrible. Bad headache and I was wondering if I could keep my calories down. Today, on day three, I feel great!!! I haven’t felt a bit of hungry all day and I couldn’t even finish my lunch, which was only a 311 calorie salad. In fact, I have to come up with 200 more calories before the night is over to stay in the healthy range (which is only 1200). I had so much energy that I DOUBLED my workout today and even ran and biked a little instead of just walking like I usually do. I really do feel amazing. I don’t even really care if I loose weight, but I know I’ll be happy and healthy after a while of doing this.
I have to add a little about Ronnie too. I’ve been trying to incorporate table foods into his diet because he doesn’t seem to like the step 3 jars and he’s too old for the step 2s. I’ve been a little hesitant, though, at the same time because I know I can control the fact that he has a complete organic diet on the jar foods. A lot of table foods are hard, if not impossible to find. But, I figure I can start out with those foods that I know I can get organic, or at least all natural with no preservatives. Today, we went full-on table food. No more jars. He had yogurt for breakfast, which he loves. For lunch, he gobbled down some applesauce, made a terrible face when he tasted a slice of cheese, and was really interested in some french fries, even though he only got a couple of bites in. Snack was some cheddar crackers and juice, which he mostly just pushed around. Then dinner was spinach ravioli with carrots. He really liked that. I can’t believe my little guy is eating table food! And he was chewing fabulously – didn’t gag or choke once.
Today, when I picked him up at the hourly care center, I saw him walking along the bookcase, so I just stood where I was and said, “Ronnie, come get mommy!” He let go of the bookshelf and stood there for a second, then took one step. He stopped and you could tell he was trying to take another, but couldn’t. His little legs were trembling he was trying so hard. When he started to cry, I walked over and picked him up. It was the cutest thing! He’s stood up and taken a few steps on his own and he’s walked around the park or house while I hold his hands, but he hasn’t really started walking yet. I hope he starts when Robert is home on R&R!
Speaking of Robert’s R&R – only two more weeks! I am super excited. Actually, its only a week and a half more before I drive up to VA to wait for him to get there. We got to talk to him the other morning and got to have a VTC (video teleconference) with him. I really wish we could talk more, but I know my husband, and he ain’t about to wait in line forever just to get called away, so I grudgingly go on without a phone call or email. Maybe the communication situation will get better soon. Who knows.
Well, I’m just rambling on and on. I don’t even know who takes interests in all this information I post up here, but I see quite a few people view my blogs, so I’ll keep on writing. But remember, comments are love!!!
- Wash Bear’s sheets.
- Finish Custom Orders
- Finish 2 packets of homework. DO IT THIS TIME!! Finished 2 packets this morning. Only 3 left to go in this section.